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So let’s talk about some ways to break the cycle of seeing ourselves as unattractive  and start doing things that will help us feel more attractive. Here are 5 simple, practical things we can do to get started:

• Emphasize one thing you like about your appearance. Even though we’re incredibly hard on ourselves, we can usually identify one thing we like about the way we look. I know, for example, that I have nice blue eyes. Maybe you know that you have pretty hair or lovely skin or a good figure or a beautiful smile. Hopefully you like two or three things about yourself, but one is enough to get started.

Pick one thing you like and emphasize it. Make up your eyes, get a great haircut, wear a touch of makeup, wear clothes that fit your body – anything that makes you feel good about your best feature. Make this a priority, and make time in your schedule so that you can do it every day.



• Work on one thing you don’t like about your appearance. For most of us, this is a long list. We hardly know where to begin! But just pick one thing to work on. Maybe your hair is graying – like mine – or you’ve never liked the color. Color it! Maybe your skin feels dry and looks dull. Get started on a skin care routine (it doesn’t have to be expensive), drink lots of water, and eat more fruits and vegetables. Maybe you wear sweats or yoga pants most of the time and feel like a frump. Start wearing clothes that fit and make you feel good.

Again, this doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. And if your weight is the major thing you don’t like (as it is for so many women), take control of it and begin working to lose some. Even a 10-pound weight losscan make a huge difference in the way you feel.  Focus on making one small, practical change that will help you turn something you feel bad about into something you feel good about. After a while, make another another change.

• Begin doing one thing to take better care of your health. The state of our health and the way we treat our bodies are closely tied to the way we look and the way we feel about ourselves. If you try to get by with 5 hours sleep a night, your eyes and skin will show it. (Not to mention how bad you’ll feel!) If I eat a lot of processed food, my skin and digestive system will let me know. (Not to mention how bad I’ll feel!) If we go for days (or weeks!) without exercising, our physical and mental health will suffer, which always influences the way we feel about ourselves.


So begin this week doing one thing to take better care of your health. Determine which health habit is most affecting the way you look and the way you feel about your appearance, and begin working on it. If you’re not sure where to begin, I suggest making sure you sleep 7-8 hours most nights. After that, begin exercising regularly, sitting less, and moving more. Figure out the one thing your physical or mental health needs most and start doing it.

• Stand up straight, speak with confidence, treat others well, and act like a confident woman. This is critical to learning how to feel attractive. So much of the way others see us, and the way we see ourselves, is perception rather than black-and-white reality. We all know people who seem very attractive, but if you really analyze their appearance, they’re actually quite average. The difference in most cases is the way they perceive themselves and the way they treat others.

Confidence is attractive, as is treating others with kindness and respect. (That doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you, which is the opposite of self-respect.) So act confident, even if you don’t feel it. Stand up straight, walk tall, look people in the eye, speak clearly, and generally act like a woman who believes in herself. This can be a “fake it until you make it” thing – you don’t have to feel confident to act with confidence!

• Believe your husband if he says you look good. If you’re fortunate to have a husband who says you look beautiful or pretty or hot, decide to believe him. More than likely, that’s exactly how he sees you.  He’s not trying to flatter you in order to manipulate you or get you into bed – he thinks you’re beautiful or pretty or hot! Yeah, he probably knows that you don’t look like the women in magazines, but he doesn’t care. (And he may realize that they don’t actually exist.) So choose to believe him – say “thank you” and accept the fact that he likes the way you look.


Thanks to this method, I became much more confident in myself. Good luck to all, be more confident in yourself.

Author: Heather Condon

As Third Door Media's paid media reporter, Heather Condon writes about many topics. With more than 15 years of working experience, Heather has held both in-house and agency management positions.

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